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Wildflowers in Langenlois

July 14, 2016

I only managed to go on a walk outside the school gardens once while I was there. I’m not entirely sure any more why that was – not enough time? Weather? Just didn’t want to?

DSC09659 Anchusa officinalis

DSC09685 Anchusa officinalis

Common bugloss (Anchusa officinalis), which is very common in that area, but which I’ve never seen where I live.

I do remember that the one time I went, it was a bit of a struggle to convince myself to leave the room. I always get stupidly insecure about going anywhere when I don’t know exactly where I’m going. Even though I know nobody is going to care, nobody is even going to notice I don’t know, they’ll just give me a polite nod and greeting (because Langenlois is a small town, so you do that with everyone), my brain always jumps to, “They’ll stare at me, and wonder who I am and where I’m going, and think I’m a stupid idiot for going up what will probably be a dead end and…”

Fortunately, I’ve learned to counter that brain-voice with one that calmly says, “Yeah, okay, brain, I hear you are worried about that. But you’re being stupid, that’s not going to happen, so I won’t listen to you.”

Most of the time it helps.

(And then there is a third voice in my brain, one that feels like someone leaning against a wall, arms crossed and watching with a sceptical expression on their face, that says, “You do realise your brain is not a separate person, right?”)

 

DSC09668 Vicia, Papaver

Common poppy (Papaver rhoeas) and vetch (Vicia sp., I’m not sure which one)

Lots and lots of vetches – I’m very fond of them. Partly because I just think they’re pretty, and partly because they remind me of being a child, making wreaths out of them to wear on my head. (And putting them on my brothers, too.)

DSC09664 Vicia

DSC09666 Vicia

DSC09667 Vicia

 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. lvdpal permalink
    July 18, 2016 08:53

    I think this talking to yourself and being able to realize your brain is acting weird is something a lot of people can only accomplish because of a lot of meditation. Many people pay tons of money for mindfulness courses to get there. 🙂

    • July 18, 2016 21:49

      As far as I remember, it started from something I read online somewhere… something about treating yourself as you would a worried friend. And the funny thing is, when I read it, I thought, “That’s stupid, how would that work?”
      But it does.
      All that unproductive meandering around the internet did lead to some good things. There’s wisdom to be found in the strangest places.

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