A Flower a Day
Do you ever have things that turn unnecessarily complicated in your mind?
Starting to blog again was one of those things for me. Talking about how I got to a point where I could do it again, and what I did in the time when I just couldn’t is another one.
I didn’t start this a-post-a-day thing here until I’d already tried a similar thing somewhere else, and found that it was working. (It’s been working for 94 days now.)
What I was doing was a flower a day – taking and posting a picture of one flower every day, and if I had time at all, looking up a fact about the plant that I hadn’t known before.
(Some of the pictures are awful, because I was in a hurry or just wanted to get out of the rain, but there are others I really really like.)
So, yeah. I ended up on tumblr somehow – the exact how and why of it is a mystery even to myself, but it had a lot to do with depression-induced lack of energy. When you can’t focus on long pieces of text, let alone create anything yourself, there’s something very tempting about just staring at pretty pictures and short, frequently funny posts.
And it’s the worst time-suck. It’s so easy to always find more to stare at. And sometimes I wish I could just stop, I could just leave… but I made friends there, too, somehow, even when words were exhausting, and I don’t want to lose touch with them. So I’m staying.
And it’s funny how completely unimportant things can feel like things you have to hide. My brain is such a stupid lying asshole sometimes. On the one hand, it’s kind of funny when I recognise what it is doing, and I can think, “pfff, I’m not listening to you!” But it’s exhausting, too.
But I suppose now that I’m no longer trying to keep that part of myself separate from the rest of my online identity, I might as well start being the most obsessed Tad Williams fan on tumblr. Somebody’s got to do it, right?